Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. William Jennings Bryant
If you are one of those who tend to lapse into bemoaning the ill luck that seems to constantly shadow you, now is the time to pause and have a relook at events that apparently seem to have spiraled out of control and derailed all your grandiose plans. Here are a few questions for you to objectively ask yourself and judge for yourself if your destiny could have been altered by you by being more proactive and responsive to events as they unfolded.
Could I have anticipated better? No matter what the event or consequence that seems to have unexpectedly altered your plans, chances are that barring extremely rare happenings like life threatening illness or life altering accidents, every other event could have been anticipated by you. Perhaps out of fear of the eventuality or due to callousness and indifference or because of our foolhardy bravado we chose to ignore the writing on the wall and when it became inescapable we have conveniently blamed our destiny for it. E.g. Failing in an exam because you didn’t study cannot be equated to missing an exam because of serious illness. The former cannot be even remotely connected with destiny whereas the latter can largely blamed on it.
Could I have planned, prepared and preempted the subsequent events that mauled me? By and large the consequence of actions can be visualized by us. Obviously this means that one can work on planning, preparing and preempting the negative consequences with a positive, proactive and purposeful approach. E.g. The dates of paying the mandatory dues be it property tax, income tax or insurance premium are known to us. We also know the consequences of not paying up on time. Destiny has not role to play if your IT return comes up in scrutiny or you meet with an accident and your dues are not paid making you liable to face the consequences.
Could I have coped with the events that took place in a better way? If events have overtaken us unexpectedly, the remedy is not to sit and rue it but to take stock of the situation and then work on minimizing the damage. Throwing in the towel, passing the buck and disowning responsibility are classic traits demonstrated by weaklings when the chips are down. Do we tend to do this? The remedy is in picking up the threads and working on salvaging the situation and possibly working on long term solutions to avoid facing such a situation. E.g. You have parked your car and gone shopping and when you return you discover that your laptop and briefcase have been stolen by someone. While raising and alarm, lodging police complaint and attempting to trace the culprits would be the short term logical steps, the real control over your destiny begins when you decide never to leave your belongings in the car in full visual range of potential thieves.
Can I still change, challenge and emerge a champion? The ultimate learning from the experiences that have been painful, frustrating and unexpected is in working on changing your destiny by challenging yourself to cope with the reality and relentlessly pursuing a loftier goal happily, eagerly and confidently. E.g. don’t follow traffic signals only because you are afraid of getting fined but obey them because you believe you are a conscientious citizen of this country.
You conquer destiny not when you win the lottery (which is a matter of chance)but when you buy the lottery ticket ( which is a matter of choice) for without that prize winning ticket in hand no one can win that lottery.
Remember : My interest is in the future, because I’m going to spend the rest of my life there. Charles Kettering
- Pick up 5 words from the above post that you had never heard of before and find the meanings, synonyms and anonyms of it. If possible make it a regular habit and your well set to improve your vocabulary, improve your language skills and definitely become a better communicator.
- Out of the following options choose a couple of those that you believe apply to you and which are destiny’s unfortunate bane on you. Outline 3 points for each option you choose whereby you will ensure that these banes are turned to boons in your life. E.g. If you have a physical handicap (bane) plan to focus on leveraging your mental faculties (education)/skill sets (e.g. Talents like painting/ music) / leadership skills etc.
- Lack of adequate finances
- Poor academic ability
- Poor communication skills
- Overwhelmed by negative thoughts
- Ill health
- A violent temper
- Lack of parental understanding
- Not finding a good job
- Inability to pursue your own passion
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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HI Jacob, can u tell me how to improve communication skills?
Which books to read or any other suggestion/tips will be welcome.
There are various facets of communication skills. It is important to identify the areas that you seek to improve on. E.g. Fluency, Vocabulary, drafting skills, public speaking etc.
My immediate suggestion would be to read more, write more, use the dictionary and thesaurus. The daily newspaper, Readers Digest, some national weekly’s are a good source to begin with. The key is to develop a love for reading and you can focus on topics that appeal to you.
I suggest you email me at [email protected] with your specific requirement and I shall definitely revert with my detailed suggestions.
thank u so much…
This article is realy amazing.thanx 4 sharing ur precious thought.
I have gone through almost of your articles.one of your best article is
“Simple ways to gain self confidence” June 15, 2011.you dont know how the things has been changes after learning these things.Many time we see and read so many articles but doesn’t implement but the tips which you had given i had tried and the tremendous change has been occur.Now i m more Confident People Knows me,Likes me. Thank you so much.Keep helping and sharing your ideas with us.
Thank you for your feedback and warm appreciation of the contents of the various posts. I am dellghted that the post of 15 June has had a very positive impact on you and has helped you gain in confidence and that was reflected in your work and environment. Do continue to send in your feedback.