When troubles simmer…

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can’t cure. Ogden Nash

If we pause for a moment we would realize that in a sense each of us is rich when compared to the vast majority around and yet we keep bitterly complaining about the numerous troubles that we are confronted with daily. On closer examination we would realize that the troubles we complain about are mostly the ones that we cannot handle despite us being financial well off mainly because they concern issues that cannot be solved by money alone. For most of us, our troubles broadly fall into three categories – personal problems, relationship issues and irrational worry. In all three cases the common theme is that we as individuals are the cause and hold the solution to the problems.

Personal problems could include financial issues too but mainly relate to matters concerning our personality, our lifestyle, our work and our happiness quotient. Far too many of us have low self esteem which means that we are not comfortable with our own physical appearance, social status and our general environment. We go around believing we are short changed by fate and that but for cruel circumstances we should have been destined for greater glory. This though process extends to our dress sense, our living conditions, the food habits and then percolates to our job contents, our responsibilities at work and occasionally we even question our choice of work place. Obviously with this kind of a negative mindset and constant walloping in problems both real and imagined we do not see any happiness in our life nor do we hope to enjoy our life thereby inviting and enduring troubles that could have been largely overcome by a rational thought process and a positive focus.

Just as we make friends with people we also end up disliking a large number of people, avoid an equal number and simply hate a few. That apart we have misunderstandings, we suspect many, we are ill at ease with some and when we fall out with people for whatever reason we carry both a grudge and hope to extract revenge. Under the circumstances the troubles that we invite in our relationships through our often unreasonable expectations and occasionally mistaken beliefs cannot be solved by our money but only by our own proactive initiative and by subduing our ego. Unfortunately, the mind does not forget easily, the heart does not forgive quickly and the ego tends to seek retribution; net result is that we remain unhappy and troubled all the while.

The biggest problem though is worry. Most times the worries are completely irrational and the product of a paranoid environment in which we live. Right from fears of getting mugged to being killed in accidents, we worry about suffering from cancer and life style disease like heart attacks. We worry about job security, the future of our kids, the collapse of the economy and its effects on us, the terrible consequences of nuclear warfare etc. The reality is that theoretically each of them has a possibility of affecting us but the probability is so minuscule that even remotely thinking of them is aggravating worry and adding to our troubles. Notice that our irrational worries too cannot be solved by money alone.

Remember: “The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds.” Nancy Witcher Astor, Viscountess

Try this:

Read up on the post on Why Worry by clicking on this link http://actspot.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/why-worry-2/
Make a huge list of all your worries that troubled you last year. Now examine each one and see how many of them came true. If the vast majority didn’t come true then ask yourself was it worth worrying about? Now just list 5 of your major worries for the coming years. Examine them rationally and assign each a probability of occurrence. For this year worry only about the 2 troubles/ worries that have the highest probability assigned. Also work on finding solutions to mitigate those troubles.