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Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene. Arthur Christopher Benson

 Life, for even the most active person occasionally gets humdrum. The weariness of everyday living and the repetitive nature of sleep and work demands a change of scene so as to help us recharge our batteries, energizes our body and soul and rejuvenate our whole being. Yet, a short holiday, a weekend bash, or partying may not always give us the expected results and occasionally we come back more weary, more dispirited and in extreme cases very depressed. It will be reflected in our haggard pace of life, in our morose and insipid behavior and could culminate in illness and chronic lethargy. While, it is possible that this could also be the result of some undiagnosed illness, more often than not, the real trouble is our mental makeup and low self esteem.

Out tendency to see difficulties in every opportunity rather than opportunities in every difficulty is the first mental block that restricts our personal growth and happiness. When we have a minor aches and pains we worry about having major illness, when things don’t go as planned we worry about what fate has in store for us, when we are chided by someone we seek revenge instead of verifying the truth in the admonishment and when we are given some challenging tasks we are more focused on merely managing to complete it to avoid blame rather than seek out a chance to exhibit our abilities and capabilities. Then there are people who are inflexible in their thinking, lifestyle, behavior and attitude. They remain confined to the nuances of tradition, restrict their vision using the blinkers of sticking to archaic customs and practices and cloak their miserliness and frugality in the garb of simplicity. Worse still is their inward looking beliefs that make them prone to criticize those not toeing their thinking. They could also end up zealously inflicting their views on others without much success and hence getting frustrated with the ways of the changing world.

People with inferiority complex form the bulk of those who need a serious personal make over, both externally and internally.  These are people who see themselves as nobody’s, feel they are just a footnote in the epic called life, live as if there are consigned to wallow in mediocrity and those who lack confidence and have no self esteem. Typically they are back benchers, mere participants in any event, will always exhibit a false sense of modesty and avoid the limelight at any cost.   Juxtaposed to the above inferiority complex is the set of people who have a mountainous ego and an inflated superiority complex. They need to be at the center of attraction and will inch their way into all sorts of activities as long as they can hog centre stage. They can be loud and uncouth at times, can irritate with impunity and be devilish in their intent and behavior. Ironically, what is common to both sets of apparently opposing personalities is their personal turmoil that ignites this unsavory behavior.

What is important is for people to recognize these self limiting traits and acknowledge that they may be restricting your own growth . Attempt to change, initially in a forced and contrived manner, because unlearning is tough as we tend to lapse into our own set patterns. Focus on the positive results obtained by making some forced changes. Eg. If you are an introvert may be going for a personality development or Presentation skills workshop may help you overcome some of your inhibitions. Observe some role models and adopt and adapt their styles to match your own personality eg. You admire the communication style of a leader who uses humor effectively. However you find it hard to be naturally humorous but you are well researched and well prepared in what you do. So communicate your preparation in a factual but friendly way to be effective and avoid all attempts at humor unless you are confident about carrying it off. Finally be open to change and attempt new things constantly. This will enable you to have fresh perspectives, free your mind of constrained views and it will open up umpteen possibilities thereby giving you’re a constant stream of fresh ideas that will stimulate and refresh you every moment.

Remember: They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius

Try this:

  1.  What is your genre of music, art, sport, reading, fashion, food etc? Now make it a point to consciously attempt to savor something different that you have never tried or are very wary off. Make it a point to focus on what was good about your attempt  and reflect on some new perspectives you got from it.
  2.  Make an attempt to change your route of daily travel if possible or your daily diet. Do attempt to view a different TV channel than the ones your addicted to. Visit a place of worship of another religion. Surprise your spouse/ children/ friend with an unexpected gift . Focus on breaking your mould and being different consciously.

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Bobby Jacob

Bobby Jacob

‘ He hopes to have a positive influence on his readers through his blog posts’

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