Unconditional acceptance

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding.

If you want to know the secret of a popular person, just observe their interactions and communication style and you will make the profound discovery that they are spontaneous and large hearted. It is in those two qualities that they give themselves completely and freely off and that is what the world wants, appreciates and acknowledges. Most of us for example will give alms to a beggar when he / she approaches us but rarely do we stop to give something more as a planned offering given out of our own free will. True we may spare old clothes and left over food, but those are all from our excess and more with a view to avoid wastage than as a genuine heartfelt offering of love. On the other hand, observe volunteers who work in the social service sector for free; they put their heart and soul in what they do.

In our own life there are ample opportunities for us to share ourselves with those who need us.  Beginning with a smile that costs us nothing but enables us to connect with a everyone, we can express ourselves through our conduct, being polite, attentive, even tempered etc. and in our attitude of being positive, helpful and affectionate. In other cases we offer our services out of a sense of obligation as in the case of a blood donation camp or participating in events to make up the numbers. Here the approach is to be obedient and disciplined and cooperative but the spirit seems to be artificial. On the other hand there are many who take the initiative knowing fully well the responsibilities and the pain that comes with the job.

Notice the people who are always smiling and cheerful and you will see that they do not feel obliged or stressed by anything. This is because they have no expectations nor do they feel constrained to act as a matter of duty. Whatever they do they do so out of their sense of compassion, a feeling of gratefulness and because of their urge to share. There are no rewards except perhaps the joy and contentment that accompanies a spontaneous gesture be it taking the injured to the hospital, spending time with the aged and infirm or holding the hand of someone who is deeply distressed and distraught.  These rewards are priceless and that is why they are rewarded only to a select few who just plunge in and initiate action when the going is tough.

Look back and visualize your favorite uncle/ aunt/ grandparents/ teachers and see a common trait that endeared them to you.  They tried hard to understand you, your needs, your feelings, your fears and your longings. While they may never have been able to really fulfill all your needs, you could sense a feeling of comfort, a glow of happiness and the magic of serenity when they were with you. They may have spoken little, offered you nothing but by their sheer loving presence reviewed your spirits and recharged your life. How did they do it? Simply by being there when you wanted them most; you didn’t ask them to they sensed it; they didn’t lecture you but merely held your hand; they just gave themselves to you unconditionally and presto life was wonderful again.

Remember: “The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well”  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Try this:

1. Volunteer to participate in some social service activity and ensure you stand by your commitment. Choose to share of your talents / your time/ your expertise/ your creativity
2. Make it a practice to use the power of our senses to give unconditionally to all. Do this in the following manner ( but use discretion please)

• Sight – Appreciate the grooming / manners/ help/ spontaneous gestures/ the beauty around
• Smell – Appreciate the aroma of the food/  the perfume/ the fragrance of flowers
• Touch – Hug a child or a close friend or use it as a gesture of deep sympathy
• Hearing – give a patient hearing / listen attentively without prejudging
• Tasting – Criticize with caution / appreciate with warmth all those who feed us

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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