When you’re through changing, you’re through. Bruce Barton
While it is well know that change is the only constant in this world, the process of change and its influence are never really understood much less appreciated. The trouble with change is that sometimes it creeps up with little warning and before we know it, he change has forced us to accept it. Technology is a key driver of such drastic changes that creep up and engulf us. Other times change is sudden and drastic making us fearful, panicky and reactive in most cases. A sudden death of a family member, an unexpected job loss, the diagnosis of an incurable disease etc. are changes that jolt us and send us in a tizzy. What is important o note is that the change forces us to adapt but the process of adaptation is not complete till we reconcile to the changes forced upon us.
Most of us at first, attempt to fight change. This is a natural self defensive mechanism that attempts to protect the status quo. We do not want to disturb the current setting even if there are some problems or inconveniences primarily because of the fear that change will make us uncomfortable, would stress us out and there is our morbid fear that we will never learn to adapt to the change. Notice how uncomfortable we are if our hand or leg is in a cast. While the pain of a fracture is disturbing, the fact that our natural responses and movements are terribly constricted add to our discomfort, annoyance and exasperation. It is interesting to note that, because we have no choice, we slowly adapt to the discomfort and given sufficient time, we easily adapt to the change.
Being comfortable with change involves accepting the reality, embracing the new environment and making our best efforts to adapt to the new reality. In traditional societies, the newly married bride has to make a major effort to accept, adapt and adopt the new family. This can be very challenging if the new set up has drastically different value systems, styles and attitudes. Something similar happens when we change jobs or professions. In both scenarios often the acceptance of change is relatively easier because we walk into the change voluntarily, we go ahead with a positive frame of mind and we are keen to succeed in adapting to the change. If we tried to bring in a similar mindset to those changes that are involuntary, unexpected and inescapable the probability of us easily making the transition brought about by the change is very high.
The fact that people comply with change when forced to does not in any manner indicate that the change process is complete. Take the case of prisoners who are imprisoned in the hope of paying a price and hopefully reforming in the process. Unfortunately many of the released prisoners would have returned to their way ward ways. The same holds true for beggars who are sheltered in homes. At the first opportunity most of them escape and try to resume their old profession. Change is complete only when the participants in the change process have completely embraced the change and accept the new altered state as a lifelong reality.
Remember: “Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
Try this:
- Make a list of at least 3 major changes that you have undergone/ adapted to/ accepted in the last 5 years. Eg. Took up a new job / got married/ cut off ties with family / getting a pet etc. Examine the mental and physical stress brought about by this change.
- What are the 3 things that you would never want to change if it is possible and/ or 3 changes that you wish you could reverse? Identify reasons for such feelings. Examine the 3 advantages of each of these changes that is now irreversible.
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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