The weak can never forgive

The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.  Mahatma Gandhi

It takes a lot of inner strength to forgive simply because it is human nature to seek revenge. Even as I write this post, the verdict on the 26/11 accused Kasab has been delivered and he has been sentenced to death. The TV channels have extensive coverage going on and interviews with next of kin or friends of the victims are passé. The overwhelming majority of those airing their views are satisfied with the verdict while a miniscule lot maintain that it is life sentence that is more appropriate mainly because they are opposed to the death penalty on grounds of extreme cruelty and not at all on grounds of mercy or forgiveness. In this context many of you reading this post will be asking how one can condone such a dastardly act and forgive the perpetrators.

In my view as long as we have a robust and fair judicial system, as is the case in India, the system must be left to take care of the matters of law and justice. More importantly forgiveness should not be confused with pardon; forgiveness is not holding a grudge and ‘not seeking revenge’ as in an eye for an eye, whereas pardon is ‘condoning the crime and the culprit’. As Gerald Jampolsky says Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Quite often we are so obsessed with the crime that we let it eat up our life. When we can’t forgive, we are actually torturing ourselves for we try to rewind the past and pretend to live in the present and in the process end up neither living nor being realistic.

Often the hurt is deep because the incident is too personal, the act could have been deliberate and premeditated and the logic or reason for the crime too trivial to rationalize. It is but natural for most mortals to feel cheated, brutalized and terrible pained by the event and then forgiveness becomes a very tough choice to exercise. When our spirits are drooping, our pain too numbing and anger seething we are extremely vulnerable to irrational ideas and revenge is one of the immediate ideas that comes to mind. Forgiveness demands that we sacrifice this idea of revenge but then unless we are strong enough to put up with the pressures of societal pressures and our inner turmoil, we can’t ever forgive those who have brought pain, suffering and misery to us.

True forgiveness is in making peace with ourselves. It demands equanimity, resolve and above all self belief. This implies that we reconcile to the new change that is thrust upon us, being pragmatic that the past cannot be relived and that we need to put the past firmly behind us and proceed ahead with hope,  faith and charity. Hope in the future, faith in ourselves and charity for the sinner.

Remember: To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” Robert Muller

Try these:

1. The best therapy for a guilt ridden person is a good confession. While Catholics can go to a priest for confession, the non Catholics have to rely on a good counselor or confidant or on your honest self to list out your sins. When you acknowledge your vices and sins and unburden your  heart, and feel truly repentant you will find your heart feeling a lot lighter, your conscience clean as fresh page and a song on your lips. Begin by forgiving yourself.
2. Click on the link ‘Forgiveness’ on the right of your screen. Go through the various posts listed there and attempt the various Try These mentioned therein.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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