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When the fight begins within himself, a man’s worth something.  Robert Browning

It is not an easy task to balance the demands of the head and the heart; for one may tug at your emotions whilst the other pulls you towards your rational self. An indifferent person can easily take a stand, for often the rational mind will override the emotional scream with a macho disdain. For the sensitive soul emotions cloud all rational and engulfs him in throes of sentiments and he easily succumbs to that call.

A real man / woman is one who despite their personal dilemmas does not take the soft option and gives in to their natural inclination but debates and ponders over the options available. They don’t brush aside the uncomfortable but accept it as a reality to be confronted and dealt with. For a man, a display of his emotions and sentiments in public is often viewed as weakness, while a woman rarely displays arrogance and brute power for they are not the normal feminine qualities. Yet in the hurly burly of life these are challenges that confront each one of us almost daily and it is our response to these challenges that in many ways defines us and our self worth.

Look at a wife tackling a deviant husband, perhaps a drunkard. She can cry and wail and plead and submit or she can confront, assert and reason out her point of view. As long as the choice is not just plain submission but a strategy based on a deep analysis of the pros and cons, we can salute the indomitable spirit of woman power. Take a scenario of a young widower who has been dealt an unkind cut by fate. He can put on a stern demeanor, brandish a demonic countenance against fate and struggle with the challenges of single parenthood or he can take counsel from elders and possibly remarry. The choice will be tough for there are many other challenges ahead but a matured decision using head and heart means he has struggled with himself and proved his mettle.

The fight within is best personified by the decisions taken by people who have had a conversion be it a religious conversion, a spiritual revival or drastic change in their own lifestyle and relationships. The decision here typifies the agonizing and painful realization that a change is needed but it will come at a big cost. It could cost one deep fissures within yourself with the heart tugging one way and the mind pulling you in just the opposite way; it could lead to deep fissures with your home and relationships; it could involve making painful sacrifices and it can often be accompanied by grave self doubt for a long time. Intercaste/ interfaith/ inter cultural marriages are a prime example of the dilemma that accompanies the battle within.

Remember: “To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.” E. E. Cummings

Try these:

  1. Attempt a drastic change in your lifestyle. E.g. if you enjoy your drink with your friends, the next few times you meet up tell them you won’t drink. Pay attention to their reactions and subtle coercion to their sarcastic digs and possibly outright annoyance. Your test is not to give in to it. You can try the same with smoking or eating food that you enjoy but is not advisable for you. Feel the fight within?
  2. Isolate a couple of bad habits you would like to get rid of. Alternatively look at a few good qualities that you would like to imbibe. Work out an action plan. Implement it with immediate effect. The moment you are tempted to give your plan a miss ask if you have succumbed to the fight within and lost the battle. Every small victory is a step further to winning the War within yourself.

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Bobby Jacob

Bobby Jacob

‘ He hopes to have a positive influence on his readers through his blog posts’

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