Happiness is an inside job

The secret to happiness is YOU. Sounds rather philosophical but when you reflect on what your definition of happiness is, you realize that only you can outline it and for sure only you can embrace that happiness wholeheartedly. Next time notice the dazzling smile of a baby or the gurgling sounds made by a babe in a cradle. The happiness they exude is pure magic and is proof that we were all born with the capacity to be happy at all times. Yet, as we grow, we are often tested by pain, rejection, inequality and ill health which robs us of our child like happiness which is then replaced by our own self defined concept of happiness. We now no longer allow happiness from within to overwhelm us but seek to find happiness in people, places, events and things, most of which elude us.

Here are 5 most common reasons why we are not as happy as we yearn to be.

For almost all of us defining what brings us happiness is a near impossible task for there are too many equally mesmerizing alternatives.
Similarly, it is equally true that all happiness is momentary for no sooner we experience it, we are craving for the next thing that would give us a similar high.
Craving and envy are two vices that often act as dampeners to our happiness.
Far too often what we perceive brings us happiness are forbidden and/ or sinful
We seek happiness in the external world, in the materialistic things, in fame and adulation whilst being oblivious of the reality that our happiness lies within us, in our perspective, our attitude and our ability to enjoy each moment.

We have broadly identified the reasons why we do not experience happiness as often and for as long as we want. Our focus must now be on finding out how we can seek the source of the fount of happiness and drink from it for long and forever. Here are 5 ways to remain happy for the rest of our life.

Love yourself. This goes beyond the physical self and percolates deep into other aspects like self belief, confidence, aspirations, resilience and motivation. It is when we love what we are as we are that we begin to see all that we are blessed with and happiness is a natural corollary.

See the positives Since each day is both a blessing and a challenge, there are many times when we succumb to the pressure of the challenges and feel defeated and despondent. Pause for a moment and think back to one of the worst days of your life; isn’t it wonderful to note that despite the frustrations and fears of that day, you have left those bitter moments far behind and have much to enjoy now and look forward to in the future?

Realign your attitude A few missteps, a couple of hard knocks, an odd failure or two or moments of boredom or frustration are potential minefields that we must navigate with care. The best mine detector we have, to safely navigate these tough times is our attitude to the challenges that we come across. It can’t get worse or I can overcome or this is not too tough are emotional triggers that work wonders to realign your attitude and help you be balanced and happy.

Spread happiness This is sure shot way to be happy all the time. To begin with, smile. It is infectious and this is one infection that does a world of good for all. Converse with people, interact, tell a joke, poke fun at your expense, offer encouragement, give a pat on the back, be a little goofy if required, appreciate others, help another, surprise people with gifts… there are a zillion little things one can do to spread happiness… and to remain happy.

When at your wits end- remember ‘this too shall pass’ No matter what you do, you cannot escape those moments of pain, failure, betrayal, anger, frustration and the numerous other negative emotions lurking in the background. Many of these can momentarily overwhelm us and at times completely break us down as would be the case when we lose a loved one to death. In these bleak moments, don’t forget that ‘this too shall pass’ and that there is a new dawn and a new day waiting to give us fresh opportunities and immense happiness.

Try this:

Identify 12 people, each of who has his/ her birthday in a different month from the others. Thus you have one person’s birthday coming up each month. Ensure that out of these people 3 are colleagues, 3 are distant relatives, 3 are complete strangers and the balance 3 are family/ friends. Your task is to arrange for gifts to be given to them on their birthdays without them knowing who has sent them the gift.

List out 3 of your strengths that are appreciated by others. Now outline 2 different ways in which you can try and use these strengths to spread happiness and experience it yourself.

Here is a PPT which gives another perspective to life in general, and some critical inputs that could help you find even more happiness. guide_to_life_lo