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13-2-Be true to yourself and discover ...

Like a dog chasing its tail in the fond hope of finding happiness there, the human race seeks to find happiness in the world around us. Unlike a dog that only has one tail to chase, we end up pursuing every strand of perceived happiness  largely materialistic, quite often competitively , at times egoistically and  when stressed spiritually. The trouble though is that, we seek happiness by being selfish, self centered and for self gratification. Interestingly when we are pursuing happiness focused largely on our self centered needs, unwittingly we are using what we perceive as the happiness of others as the benchmark for our own gratification and happiness. In short we covet what others have and when on the rare occasion we do manage to posses it, after a brief spell of ecstasy we look for something else for our self gratification and resultant happiness.

Now pause for a moment and try and recollect those moments of bliss that you experienced. Was it the time you received a praise for having done a good deed or was it the time you learned to balance a bicycle without falling off or was it the time you found a valuable that was lost or was it the time you scored the highest ever marks in your career or was it all of the above? Notice that in each of these moments of happiness, you were central to the moment. The thrill was in experiencing and cherishing the moments that belonged to you and you alone. There was no benchmark to measure it with, no competition that prodded you on, no ego that had to be satisfied; it was simply a personal wow moment.

The challenge is then to make the best of every moment that is yours. Worrying is perhaps the biggest thief of those moments. Instead the focus must be on getting on with what has to be done. Criticism if any that comes your way must be accepted with grace if it is justified else ignored when it is misdirected. The occasional failures must be seen as an opportunity to learn and better yourself.  The pain that comes with having to deal with tough tasks must be seen as a small price to pay in the larger scheme of things. Every small success that comes along must be embraced with warmth, cherished with delight and treasured as priceless. That is true happiness deservingly and exclusively yours.

Happiness is not just what comes from getting something or achieving something. The nectar of happiness is sweetest when we give. A smile is the simplest thing that we can freely give and receive manifold in return. A smile is an outer expression of an inner radiance. A word of praise or comfort, the warmth of a hug, an apology for a mistake, pardon to another for an indiscretion and thanks to anyone who deserves it are triggers of happiness. Similarly exercising control over our negative emotions be it anger, envy, jealousy, pride etc. help us realize our inner strength and translates into happiness in realizing the power of our own self control.

Happiness comes from knowing that by your thoughts and deeds YOU have left the world a better place.

Try this:

  1. List out the names of 5 individuals who you dislike immensely. Now try and outline 3 positive qualities that each of these individuals posses. Do you experience a lessening of your dislike because you have got a more objective understanding of these individuals? Now outline the one quality in the person that irritates you the most. Can you see this irritant as a minor one and ignore it? Do you feel happier for having excused the person for his/ her irritating ways?
  2. Make a list of 5 for each of the following
  • Your favorite jokes
  • Your favorite pictures
  • Your favorite songs
  • Your favorite movies
  • Your favorite teachers
  • Your favorite moments in life

How did you feel after having made the list? Did it bring back some fond memories?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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Bobby Jacob

Bobby Jacob

‘ He hopes to have a positive influence on his readers through his blog posts’

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This Post Has 0 Comments

  1. Shanu

    Simply inspirational for me to get out of my fear and depression.
    Thanks for your writing which give me some relief for the moment at least.
    Thanks again!

    1. Hi … Thank you for taking time out to comment on the post. I am glad that the contents of the post have alleviated your anxiety, fear and depression. However I am wee bit concerned about your statement …’which gives me some relief for the moment at least’. If you would like to share your worries or concerns do write in to me at [email protected] and I shall try and respond to you suggesting some course of action to regain your confidence.
      Take care
      Jacob
      08806306301

  2. Seema

    Nicely written piece and sounds logical. Comparison is the root cause of so many issues in life………. whether you compare material gains or the parent’s love or the achievements at schoo/ work…………Sometimes you compare without realising and stay unhappy………..i think one should consciously make an effort to stay away from this feeling and then one can find peace…..

  3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the post and for validating my thoughts. As you correctly stated, one must make a conscious decision to avoid the pitfall of comparison if one wants to lead a peaceful life.

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