What we see depends mainly on what we look for. – Sir John Lubbock
If you are one of those who ends up as a frustrated shopper rarely finding what appeals to you or one who finds too many faults in what you plan to purchase, ask yourself the question ‘Do I really know what I want?’ Take the simple case of buying a new mobile phone for personal use. While the budget constraint might be very clear, the other parameters of type of the phone viz. style, color, features, utility, functionality etc. are not very clear to us. Obviously then we flirt from phone to phone secretly wishing to own all, but finding it very difficult to narrow down the personal choice. On the other hand when we have to book tickets for travel, we are fairly sure of the dates, the mode of transport and the preferred choice of seating. We are clear about our requirements because the choices are so limited and we need to decide clearly before we lose out the opportunity.
Many a time, we do not leverage this great insight and that is why we often end up angry, frustrated and despondent when we are challenged, face obstacles and are confronted with seemingly insurmountable problems. The trick is not to avoid the problem or deflect it or give up in frustration. Instead if we continue to persist seeking the answer we will come up with some of the most innovative solutions and perhaps there are extremely simple solutions at hand which we have overlooked. All the great innovations of the world are testimony to the unquenchable thirst of the scientist and discoverers to search for that solution to their challenge. In fact the progress of mankind can be attributed to man’s self belief and search for answers for his/ her problems.
This brings us to another powerful use of this wisdom of seeking and finding what we search for. When we are prone to complaint, criticize, run down, cast aspersions or find fault we need to take a pause and see the good points, the positives, the strengths and the opportunities that exist and our negative mindset will be largely nullified. Similar if one wants to get the best out of people all we need to do is look out for their strengths, seek out something to praise them for, identify their positives and seek out opportunities to communicate these positives to them. Notice how they get charged up, work to live up to their promise and actively seek to get your attention and a reinforcement of the earlier appreciation from you.
It might sound ironic but good friendships are often developed not because we are consciously aware of our requirements for a type of friend but invariably it is our sub conscious that helps us gravitate towards the right people with whom we blend well, have the perfect rapport and forge a long lasting bond. This again simply proves the point that when we seek consciously or unconsciously, we get what we want.
Remember: Seek first to understand and then you will be understood.
Try this
- Assume you are rushing to a formal meeting. You are not wearing a coat but just a full sleeve shirt and tie. Unfortunately your sleeve gets entangled in a nail and the button is ripped off. You wouldn’t want to attend the meeting with one sleeve buttoned and the other unbuttoned. What are the various options before you to salvage the situation. ( You have no time to resew a button). Come up with at least 3 different answers and email it to contact @actspot.com.
- Find at least 3 positives in the following situations
- You have lost your wallet
- You get injured on the eve of an important match and you miss the opportunity to play the match.
- Your best friend suddenly stops talking to you and avoids your attempts to communicate with him/ her
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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