Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself. Harriet Uts Nelson
It is always a tough call to forgive anyone who has harmed you in any way; be it in deeds, words or indifference. We often end up nursing a grudge and heart of heart seek some sort of revenge failing which we hope the other party gets some divine retribution. In fact should the other party have some unfortunate misery descend upon them, we take a perverse pleasure in their plight and rationalize it as ‘they deserving their punishment.’ Surprisingly what we somehow do not realize is that in the whole process we are the ones who have suffered more for our hearts were filled with the pain of the injury, our mind never letting go of ill will for the other party and life burdened with the challenge of getting even by hook or by crook.
Many a time, we tell ourselves that we have pardoned the wrong doer. Secretly we take a moral high ground that we have done a magnanimous deed. Often our pardon is more out of societal pressures, counsel of elders or a compromise so as to ensure the problem is not escalated. Pardon in most cases is just an expression used to elevate ourselves on a higher pedestal of virtue and perhaps to soothe our own mental turmoil and anguish. A pardon is not really perfect unless forgiveness is central to the process. Pardon is merely forgiveness without love where as forgiveness is pardon plus love.
Forgiveness in essence not only enables us to pardon a person, but it goes a long way in rehabilitating ourselves from the guilt that we still have to take revenge. Forgiveness cleanses us from within, removing all traces of ill will against another, suppresses our ego, seeks redemption of the wrong doer and frees us of the burden of scheming plotting and extracting revenge. Once we forgive, there is a big load off us and we suddenly begin to see our life in new light. We experience joy within and happiness all around. We have no axe to grind, no questions of ourselves and no fear or doubts that remain a Damocles sword over out head.
If we really reflect revenge and forgiveness are human traits never seen in the animal kingdom. Perhaps the fact that the human being is born with an ego that needs to be placated at all times is the reason for us getting caught up in the mire of seeking revenge and wishing ill to another. No sooner we forgive; we attain peace and experience tranquility for we are have now discovered our real self. If forgiveness can give us such bliss we need to practice forgiveness more and enjoy the fruits every moment of our life.
Remember: “There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant H. McGill
- There are many times we can’t forgive ourselves for simple lapses like not meeting up with someone who was on death bed and who has now died or not taking the effort to keep in touch with close friends who have moved away or you have moved away from them. How about forgiving yourself now, by writing a letter to the loved ones of the deceased appreciating the deceased. You can also write to long lost friends and if possible pay them a surprise visit.
- Make it a point to also read the earlier posts on Forgiveness by clicking on this link http://actspot.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/forgiveness/ There are more posts related to forgiveness that you can access in this blog by clicking on the word Forgiveness on the tags on the right of the blog page.
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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