It is ok to be not okay…

Unhappy, disillusioned, confused, hurt, resentful, angry, listless, tired, ignored, unlucky;. Do you experience these emotions / feelings off and on? Do you feel like the only person facing these problems? The reality is that almost every one experiences these intermittently. However, the problem arises when we frequently experience negative emotions, find it difficult to ignore these emotions and worst of all succumb to the pressures of these emotions. Most of these emotions are temporary, largely fleeting and often a byproduct of wild negative thinking. However, it is important that we do go through the feeling of not feeling okay; of being uncomfortable, disturbed and pained. When we experience a situation that disturbs our peace of mind it is essential that we accept it as a painful reality. What is not acceptable is denying it, questioning it, constantly whining over it and making it control our life. When one can make peace with the painful reality, one can appreciate the fact that such not okay feelings actually accentuate the value of the positive emotions and feelings that we are blessed with.

The challenge is to experience being not okay and managing to get back to the okay state. It is like knowing how much one can stretch a rubber band. Stretch it beyond a point and it will snap. Like that broken rubber band, if one lets the not okay feeling to overpower one’s emotions, one becomes irrational, broken in spirit and body and then surrender to mediocrity, mere sustenance and survival. Being not okay implies that we are made aware of our imperfections and limitations. It also keeps us grounded to the reality that not all our efforts can give us the fruits we desire. It also spurs us to make adjustments, re-evaluate our original plans and make a fresh start. However, the danger is that when we are not okay, at times we get demoralized, disheartened and dispirited. There is then a possibility of us giving up and not making any effort to get back on track. History teaches us that even the most successful people have always encountered challenges and it is their self belief and determination that have made them rise up again and climb the pedestal of success.

Here are 6 guiding principles to navigate the not okay state and come back to the okay state.

1. The past cannot be changed but the lessons it provides are to be learnt well.
2. The future exists for us to utilize it wisely without having the hangover of the past.
3. The present is where life happens and we better not waste it brooding over the past or ring fencing the future.
4. Learn to appreciate and value the good in every adverse situation.
5. Be prepared to face the unexpected no matter how well you have planned for the future.
6. Today offers you 24 hours to utilize all the lessons learned, to attain your goals; don’t squander it away.

Try these:

• Suppose you were mistakenly locked up in prison for a crime you didn’t commit but there is no possibility of immediate release and a long term prison term of 5 years at least what would you do ?
• You have committed a terrible mistake which you managed to cover up well. However an innocent member of your team was blamed and he/ she was sacked unceremoniously. You have always regretted your silence in the matter. 6years later you come face to face with the unfortunate victim of your misdeed. What would you do?
• Can you recall 3 incidences / episodes / happenings / events in your life that really disturbed you when experienced it. How did you cope with each such situation? Do those events still play on your mind?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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