Have a cracker of a Diwali by bursting …

Diwali without crackers is never a Diwali. Yet, the awareness of pollution, the dangers that lurk in some types of crackers, the knowledge that a lot of child labour and inhuman labour conditions are prevalent in cracker manufacturing units and the understanding that crackers can be symbolic of the festival but not the heart and soul of the festival is slowly seeping into the psyche of people. Hopefully this awareness is spreading and encouraging people to cut down on bursting crackers during the Diwali festival.

Diwali is also a good time to reflect on how to burn and bury some of our personal weaknesses be it our negative attitude, our pessimistic thinking, our paranoia of failure and the like. However the first step to do this is to burst our ego and identify our limitations. So here is a new way to celebrate Diwali by bursting our EGO instead of crackers. Ironically ego is an essential virtue that helps an individual appreciate his/ her self worth, gives confidence and daring to move beyond one’s comfort zone and nourishes an individual’s morals and values. However, far too often our ego tends to get bloated by success, power and adulation from others. That is when our ego needs to be pricked and burst in the same manner that a surgeon would operate and get rid of an undesirable growth. The difference though is that a surgeon has many tools to diagnose the malady but as individuals we have to make a special effort to be aware of our bloated ego which can then be burst to get us back in shape.

Here are 3 diagnostic tools to helps us identify our ego

Feedback from others – Time and time you would always get a variety of messages from friends, colleagues, family members and strangers. If you pay attention to their messages, you would often get a clue to how much they appreciate like and respect you. Pay more attention and then you will also learn to discern the messages that are often vaguely critical, occasionally brutally honest and mostly gently camouflaged as sugar coated negative feedback.

Being aware of what goes on around us – It also helps to notice the behaviour and responses of people around to get a feel of how you are perceived by those you interact with. Perhaps you find some people deliberately avoiding you or refusing to engage with you. Others could be stiff and artificial when you are around. There could be others who are cynical, make snide remarks, sarcastic or provocative when interacting with you. It is possible that the problem is with them but it is equally probable that your ego has a key role in making them disturbed when you are around.

Being aware of our own actions and reactions – This is a tough challenge because we are often blinded to our own faults. However if we take time to introspect we would realise that there are times when we easily take offense, get loud and boorish, are extremely harsh and critical of those whom we do not agree with or do not like. Similarly we would notice that some people tend to get us easily irritated, we are sarcastic or disparaging in our comments about others, are not modest about what we have achieved and find it impossible to apologize even if a situation warrants it. A reality check would often point to a bloated ego behind which we cover our numerous faults.

To burst a bloated ego use these 3 tools.

Acceptance – While the diagnostic tools would help reveal the problem with our ego, the tougher part is to accept the diagnoses. For a long time we would deny it or rationalize it. However it is only when we accept our fault that would be taking the first step to curing our ailment. Acceptance is an acknowledgment that we realize our faults and then corrective action is real possibility. However acceptance is just the first big step to bursting ones ego.

Humility – The word humility is misused liberally by people particularly political parties who lose elections and claim that they accept the people’s verdict with humility. Humility is the realisation that whatever heights we have attained are temporary and fortunes fluctuate in the blink of an eye. Humility is the one virtue that will always ground us to reality and allow us the realisation that all of us whether born into greatness or inherited greatness are prone to the vagaries of life having to suffer the pain and hurts like any other human being. Humility would be the torch that lights the way into us walking the path of values, give us strength of character and treat others as you would have others treat you.

Revising upward our personal standards – The whole problem with a bloated ego boils down to the fact that we are obsessed with our current personal standards and expect the world to believe that those standards are the ultimate. We grow only when we set the bar higher and aim for that. So if we are able to raise our personal standards a wee bit higher our focus would be on attaining that rather than on looking for appreciation for our current standards. Ego gets bloated when we keep blowing our own trumpet, make others dance to our tunes and do not realize that the beat has changed.

Try this:

If you were forced into doing one of the following, name two of them are you most likely to fall victim to?

Cheating in an exam
Telling lies
Not naming a culprit you know when questioned
Deliberately not keeping a promise because it was inconvenient
Now examine your motives for not indulging in the others.

Name 3 of your strengths that you are most proud of. How would you react to someone who criticizes any of your strengths.
Read up on EGO – Exaggerated Grandiose Opinion by clicking on the link